I had an unwanted pregnancy.

Hey guys! Today's post is kind of a continuation of last week's post. Here is last week's post incase you haven't read it.

The series posting will continue soon. maybe, next week. okay,let me shut up now and leave you to read the story. Have a good week no matter what.

When my brother first found out I sleep with guys, he spoke to me extensively. Actually, he didn’t speak. He shouted like a dictator and he sounded just like my father, chief Salako. That man is not a father. He is only a man more concerned about his public image and the rest of us can’t do anything to threaten his good image. You would think my mother would be different but she really isn’t. She accepts her husband’s infidelity and lets him ride her children without saying anything. I actually feel bad for her. Her life was over the minute she married that manipulative self-destructive man. I admired my big brother when he decided to stop being the rich son of chief Salako and actually take charge of his life. I admired his courage but I did not tell him. I decided to take control of my life too.

Yes, sleeping around was how I controlled my life.

Was it a good way of escape? Ofcourse not but, I was willing to do anything that would tarnish my father’s image. Chief Salako is not who he seems to be.

The first time I slept with a man that was not my boyfriend, I went home and scrubbed myself till I was bleeding. I was ashamed of myself. Worse because the man offered me money. ‘What an insult!! Do I look like a prostitute? Or do I look like I’m suffering?’ were among the thoughts that ran through my mind. ‘For God’s sake, I am chief Salako’s daughter.’

So why did I continue sleeping around? Is that what your raised eye brows are asking?

It’s true I felt dirty and i a times still feel dirty but I was on a mission. My father destroyed my life. I can’t tell you how. It’s too personal and I don’t think I’m ready to share that just yet. But know he made me grow up fast and my mother allowed him. She allowed him scar me for life and strip me of every bit of innocence I had.

One of my brothers knows.The one I told you emancipated himself. It’s such a shame that my other siblings are sucking up to my dad and following after his footsteps. Their greed and love of money are making them dig graves without them even knowing. Do they think Chief Salako is a happy man? The man sleeps around to fill the emptiness in his life. He is worse than a dead dog and he knows it.

Since my brother started his organization after attempting suicide, he has become a really different person. He was always the humane one but he is different this time. There is this glow about him and he seems to be touching lives with his philosophy. I can remember when he told me ‘let it inspire you to be better. Make something out of your life so you won’t be controlled by father. Please don’t let it destroy you.’ I took his advice and let it inspire me. It just didn’t inspire me in the way he wanted but I didn’t care. Inspiration is inspiration. So it inspired me to be the brilliant girl that was expelled from university college London. My father brought me back to Nigeria after his influence failed him in the western countries he tried to ship me off to. He finally settled on University of Lagos here in Nigeria. It inspired me to be the rich girl that slept around.

I MET SOMEONE

My brother’s many sermons did not get to me but someone did without even trying. I met a guy in my final year in the University of Lagos. What attracted me to him were his brain and the way he viewed life. He reminded me of my courageous brother and I found myself liking him beyond my control

WAS I IN LOVE WITH HIM?

No, love was not my thing. We started dating and honestly it was nice. I became a better person. I didn’t change for him but he contributed to me changing. It was all good and I was really looking at a future until…

I GOT PREGNANT

I think its funny how one’s life can just change, just like that. Words can change someone’s life forever. A Change occurred when the doctor uttered the words; ‘YOU ARE PREGNANT’ to me. I couldn’t wrap my head around it for a while and I struggled with coming to terms with it. The only thought that ran through my mind was ‘I am finished’ and I really felt like that was it. My life had ended and there was no moving forward. If the person you liked was with you solidly, it would have been better. You would have had hope.

He asked me to have an abortion or forget the relationship
I fell in love with babies the day one of my nieces was born. How tiny and pink she was with everything perfect. That was the day I also knew I can never kill a baby. I can never stop a potential being from being a life with potentials. Even if I got nothing right in my life, I would get that one right. So I knew I didn’t have anything to think about. I would give birth to this baby. Even if it will bring shame to my family (which was my aim for a long time) and even if my life will change forever.

Was it easy?

It wasn’t. I really liked this guy and he wasn’t exactly who I thought he was. I guess guys do that. They are good guys until they are told a ‘mini’ them is cooking in the stomach. Most run because, they are just as scared but, some stay with you though they are also scared. The ones that stay are the ones I consider ‘men’ but, not everyone has the capability to be a man. I was able to finish school though I was mocked and people’s incessant stares and whisperings were not easy to deal with. I finished school with the support of my brother. The only one that took me in and didn’t ask me to get an abortion. To the rest of the family, I was the black sheep and my sin was unpardonable.

Was it worth it?

Yes, it absolutely was. I look at my beautiful daughter and I know I made the right decision. So I am a single mother working a steady job that was a bit challenging to get.

Why am I telling you my story?

Because I want it TO INSPIRE YOU. yeah, I know it’s quite funny that I’m now using my brother’s words but he is right. I know some of you might not be as lucky as I was. You don’t have a brother that will support you. You don’t have money and you are all your parents have. Their hope for a future is placed on you. But you messed up and got pregnant and it seems like there is no way out. You are the one that might have to drop out of school and let’s be realistic, you are the one whose life will be most affected. ABORTION LOOKS MORE LIKE IT and that’s what the guy is telling you.

For you as a guy, you are not ready to be a father. You are just in secondary school or university. You have a plan and this isn’t it. So you think it’s easier to leave the girl alone to bear the burden but, It’s really never that easy even if you leave.

Hey, don’t let anyone deceive you. Abortion isn’t easy. Maybe the procedure might be easy, maybe there won’t be any complications but, you will never be fine. You will carry it with you for the rest of your life and you will struggle with forgiving yourself. Even if you forgive yourself later, you will never forget it and it will be one of the regrets you will have. I never had an abortion but I have friends that did and really, it will never be the same; taking the life of another.

You made a mistake; you got pregnant but, you can still have a life. You really can. It will just be different. Having a baby makes you grow up. You become responsible for another’s life.

You can do it. You can give birth to that baby and give it up for adoption or take it to a motherless baby’s home. You will face shame and people will talk but please, as hard as it will be, keep breathing. Give yourself a second chance at life and this time, live the kind of life you know you are capable of. The kind of life that is not blinded by your need for revenge, hate or a need to prove a point that will lead you down a regrettable path.

Hey! My story is not only for those with unwanted pregnancies. It’s also for you. Yes you! You that is blinded by hate. You that party so hard you let your life spin out of control. You that is into prostitution, maybe because you don’t have money, there is always another way out. It might not be easy but there is always a way out. Learn from other’s mistakes and stop it now.

My brother’s philosophy is ‘let it inspire you’. Mine is, ‘it’s never too late to be what you might have been’ and really, it’s not even if it seems hard and impossible.

Hey! Hand it all over to God … “TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU, AND LEARN OF ME; FOR I AM MEEK AND LOWLY IN HEART: AND YOU SHALL FIND REST UNTO YOUR SOULS.”~ Matt 11:29

I just hope you will know it’s neither your mistake nor people that define you. YOU DEFINE YOU.