I attemped suicide...

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I know what loss is. I don’t know about losing anyone because I have never really felt a personal connection towards acquaintances that have died. The feeling was more like ‘he was young. He was a good person’ but, I never felt it. I lost everything I labored for. I mean EVERYTHING.

How? You may ask. Well, I plan to tell you.

I was the son of the rich chief Salako whose family’s wealth was well
known by all. A family that was more like royalty and lived a lavish life that made many want to commit suicide. Men that felt less because they couldn’t provide for their families. Men that felt the Salakos’ did nothing different so why were they blessed with much fortune. Men that felt the Salakos’ were undeserving of the riches, privileges extended to them and of the life they lived but these didn’t stop my family from hosting lavish parties, getting away with things and using its wealth and influence to make the lives of some others a living hell.

I decided to stop being the son of chief Salako.

You see, I had/have a good heart and because of this, I couldn’t agree with most of what my family did. I emancipated myself and started all over. It might sound a bit hypocritical that I started with what I had gotten from my family over the years. I still used my family name’s influence and privileges were still extended to me because of my last name. I didn’t want to change my last name because I knew what it meant; life would not be as easy. Yes, it does sound hypocritical. I did try to atone for the sin of my family though.

I got married, my business empire was booming. I became a father of two. Life was good. Life was as it should be but I lost it all. It all came crashing down and the son of chief Salako that was born and bred with a golden spoon didn’t even have any spoon. It’s worse when you were rich and you lose it. People will never stop talking. Trying to explain what happened. People will mock you openly and remind you of when you drove this car and spent a million in a week without you feeling the effect. But, when you never tasted the other side and the door to money suddenly opens up to you, you become the talk of the town. Yes, some will still question how you got the money but, you will mostly get people congratulating you and friends start flocking to you like bees to honey.

What made me lose everything?

Honestly, I can’t explain it. I actually started considering the effects of the powerful witches in my village but, don’t let’s go diabolical and don’t let me be a coward that won’t take responsibilities for my actions but rather blame it on unseen forces. What made me lose everything is a story for another day. There is a reason why I am telling you my story though…

LET IT INSPIRE YOU…

What should inspire me? You might ask. I am still getting there. Don’t worry, I promise it won’t be lengthy

Like every man with a natural ego, my ego was totally bruised. I felt less of a man when my wife had to stand up and start providing majorly for the family. I love that she stood beside me through it all but, I wasn’t comfortable. I am the head of the family. It’s my responsibility to take care of my family. I shouldn’t be allowing this woman to toil. That is my job but I had no choice. So I became depressed. Very depressed and pride wouldn’t let me meet my father or any of my siblings for help. Pride wouldn’t let me take money from my mother and pride wouldn’t let me borrow a certain amount of money from my friends that I knew I couldn’t pay back.

I tried to commit suicide

Yes, suicide is a very selfish act. You commit suicide and leave your family to bear the brunt of your debt. You leave your children fatherless and wife without a husband just because you were not man enough to stand up to deal with what was going on. Because you decided life has dealt with you and the best way out is to leave the world. It’s selfish but, I didn’t think about it at the time. I didn’t think about life being my greatest asset. I didn’t think about the saying that says, ‘once there is life, there is hope.’ So I overdosed on painkillers and I woke up weeks later on a hospital bed.

I KNEW THEN AND THERE THAT I WAS A FAILURE. I DIDN’T FAIL BECAUSE MY BUSINESS FAILED. I FAILED BECAUSE I TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE AND I DIDN’T TRY TO FIGHT BACK.

I decided to stop being a failure after some months. It wasn’t easy. It really wasn’t.

You should understand something. YOU ARE ONLY A FAILURE IF YOU DECIDE TO BE. IF YOU DECIDE TO LET THAT MISTAKE GET TO YOU SO MUCH YOU DON’T RISE ABOVE IT, YOU DON’T LEARN FROM IT AND YOU DON’T LET IT STIR YOU FORWARD.

I discovered I didn’t want to be an Engineer. I didn’t want to own a bar and restaurant. It dawned on me that in as much as I tried to stop being chief Salako’s son, I was still his son. I still unconsciously did what he wanted me to do. I was only an engineer because that was what was laid down for me.

But, that isn’t my passion

Psychology is my passion… so yes, I went back to school.

I am passionate about people. I am passionate about that person that thinks he/she can’t go on with life because of how many times he/she has been grinded.
That person that is used to being called stupid and has internalized the label to the extent that no fight is put up and a self-fulfilling prophecy occurs
That girl that made mistakes and got pregnant because she didn’t know better
That guy that joined bad cults, behaves in a morally questionable way because he can’t see beyond that. That’s all life is to him because that’s what he has been made to believe.

The fact that I Attempted suicide inspired me and made me start my own organization that deals mainly with youths and people going through challenges that seem unending. I had my wife’s full support and I was finally able to borrow money to kick start my dream.

Was it easy? No it wasn’t and no, it isn’t.

I go about telling people; LET IT INSPIRE YOU.

That you are failing now doesn’t make you a failure. Let it inspire you to be better
That you are going through challenges doesn’t mean it won’t end. Let it inspire you enough for you to see the end of the challenge and come out as a stronger person
That you can’t get a job. Let it inspire you to be creative and start something.
Whatever it is, LET IT INSPIRE YOU. GOD NEVER GIVES US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE AND FOR EVERYTHING, HE HAS PROVIDED AN ESCAPE ROUTE.

SO LET IT INSPIRE YOU. SEE YOU AT THE WINNING SIDE.