Ehen... you are smart?

Hello beautiful people. How was last week? Mine was really awesome. I laughed so hard and I couldn’t explain the reasons behind the laughter. There was just peace. Today, I’m going to kill two birds with a stone. I said last week that we will continue with the series (I don’t want you to know that and I want you to know that), so yayyy! I’m going to be posting it with this article since it is a short one.

Now, the writer of this one is someone I secretly admire (lol! Now it’s no longer a secret). He has a good heart and I sometimes refer to him as my husband though he has left me finally. It’s all good. Enjoy and I’m sure you will learn something from it. With that said have a beautiful week and please, smile even when you will rather cry.
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“Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts.”~ Patrick Rothfuss.

I was chatting with a friend in the first week of April about something casual. So I said, “I am smarter than you give me credit for”. He replied by saying, “Ehen… you are smart? You have actually not proven yourself to be.” He probably said it as a joke and well, I laughed it off initially. So I was very surprised when it actually got to me and I told him this. Statements like that rarely get to me. My self- confidence is not off the roof but, it’s not so down as well. I tried to brush it off by watching a movie but no, it was still really affecting me. What I found most fascinating is the ability of casual words like “Ehen… you are smart” that was probably said as a joke to get to me to the extent of making my doubt my academic and intellectual abilities. I think the effect was worse because I’m used to hearing, “Mayowa is smart”. So the statements made by others were swallowed by the one statement made by him. The power of words…

Words can break or make us. Words are so important because most times when they are said, they can’t be taken back and damage might have already been caused by verbal or written words. I told him about the effect his words had and he did say it was a joke and he has hinted it that “I am smart”. But, it was kind of too late because the words had already made me doubt myself. I actually had to talk to two friends who are just so wonderful and who actually encouraged me. I knew my friend wasn’t lying or trying to “wash” me so I would feel better because I know the statement he uttered is false but, I forgot that so easily.
Self-confidence is really needed in the world but we are also vulnerable beings. Even those that act all tough can be affected by words. It depends on how they let the words affect them or how they show its effect. Some are better at shrugging off words said and some are not. Some are better at pretending like the words didn’t have an effect but, deep down in their subconscious; the words will find a way back to the conscious. It might even be years later. Hurtful words are not as easily forgotten as encouraging words. It’s important to surround yourself with people that speak positive words and help build you up through their words. It’s also important to watch what you listen to and watch. They are seeds that we might not even be aware are being sown.

Remind yourself everyday of who you are; what you are made of. If you have to tell yourself, “I am beautiful” “I am smart” “I am talented” “I will make it” every day for you to really believe it, then please do. If spoken words are affecting you, words spoken in the past or in the present, talk to someone about it. Don’t repress it because it will affect you somehow even if you don’t want to admit that to yourself. Work on yourself to be better than who you are. Listen to meaningful advice and appreciate honest critics but don’t let words bring you down and don’t bring others down with your words.

The “Ehen… you are smart” statement also made me doubt my writing ability. Here is what my friend with the beautiful mind said:
“Don’t doubt yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself! And don’t let your talent’s worth be dependent on the opinions of others (good or bad). Believe in the gift God gave you! Believe in you sweetie!”

Another good friend of mine said:
“Remove every doubt from your abilities, even when you don’t feel confident, act it. Even if things don’t work out first, be more confident and try again.”

“NO ROTTEN TALK SHOULD COME FROM YOUR MOUTH, BUT ONLY WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE BUILDING UP OF SOMEONE IN NEED, IN ORDER TO GIVE GRACE TO THOSE WHO HEAR” ~EPHESIANS 4:29
Do your words build others or bring them down?

                                                     *******
I am human! There are so many things I do, and I have done that I never want you to know about. But, recently I realized there are no levels in SIN so, be careful not to Judge me.

Once I'm with my friends, I can do almost anything in the name of "FUN". My philosophy about life changes and I switch from my normal lifestyle to the crazy ‘Y.O.L.O’ being. Can't I say NO to alcoholic drinks and other recreational products when I'm in the company of my friends? When on a normal day, I have NEVER taken a dime to buy booze for myself. I have taken part in most social vices; is it Drinking? Or Smoking? Name it… I just wanted to feel among! I wanted to be a bad guy; the happening dude!

The first day I saw PORN, I loved it... lol. It increased my urge to want to have SEX, and so I met more girls than usual! Several times, I cheated in my tests and exams, and I knew if I was caught, I would have been suspended or something worse could have happened. I wanted you to know all these things but, "I didn't want you" to know that I involved myself in all these.

 I also want you to know that I'm a Real Guy, down to earth. I respect women and their feelings. So I don't lie or break their hearts! I have a pretty nice voice; I rap and sing. I was named the ‘best rapper’ in my university till I graduated. I'm quite good with arts, and I'm a good cook. I’m sure my wife will enjoy me!

Sometimes we are all scared of letting out our fears but, I just did and I feel cool with it. I don’t really care what the world has to say about all these things but, it’s like letting off a load. I feel lifted.
                                With love,
                                         X