The many "what ifs"

" You see, the what ifs are as boundless as the stars"~ Sally Gardner.

I remember when my mathematics teacher back then in secondary school used to say don't let your story be that of " what if" regarding the external exams. I guess I understood what he meant then but not as much as I do now. I recently faced a situation that had my brain spinning around "what ifs" and I did learn somethings..... 1: You can never be too prepared for disappointment no matter how many times you have faced it cos no matter how similar the disappointments are, each has a different blow and there is no amount of preparation that will prepare you for the moment when you are told ; "you have failed" and the "what ifs" that will accompany that will differ.

I read something which I agreed with but still felt I had to question..." You will hardly be disappointed when you expect nothing and when you work hard enough to meet your expectation"... True that cos expecting nothing actually helps reduce the number of disappointments faced as I would know but there are just sometimes you need to expect more to have hope and there are times you work hard enough but still end up being disappointed. Laws of the universe can atimes be funny...... 2: I came to understand the hard way that no one can snap you out of the feeling of disappointments and seemingly never ending "what ifs" replaying in your mind except you. Life isn't always fair and its really okay not to be fine atimes and just let yourself feel the full weight of the disappointment. It is so okay not to want to let anyone in yet but darling at the end of the day, you will need some precious ones. The souls that will remind you that life is beautiful and so is hope. You will need them to help you realise you have retreated for too long and it is more than okay to come out and be ready to fight again so you won't be tormented by "what ifs" throughout your existence.

I think most of us can relate to the feeling of disappointments and we have probably wondered not once about "what ifs". Well atimes I'm like "what if I was taller" Just to see things from an enhanced height ( don't get me wrong I'm very comfortable with my height :D). Anyway, I think it has come to points where we should stop asking "what if I had worked harder, what if I'm finer" because the brutal fact is you didn't work harder, you are not finer and as harsh as some people will say it, "Move on! You failed, deal with it!". Some say it to mock you and some to stir you forward. Although we often forget especially when in a different shoe that its not so easy to deal with disappointment and automatically open up to a ray of sunlight. I once told a friend when he was downcast that I needed him to have hope.....3: Most of us make plans but in a split second, our plans can get blown away by the wind and we are left with optimism as an option but pessimism seems to be a more realistic option. Now I learnt hope in the place of hopelessness even when glaring evidence makes it seem stupid and unrealistic to hope is very hard. Additionally, I felt reassured to know God always has a plan that transcends human understanding.

" It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all" ~J.K Rowling. A very hard truth I find myself debating with most times is that; we are all going to fail numerous times through life's journey ( I mean we didn't exactly come with an instruction manual that will help us sight every hurdle before approaching it) and be disappointed. But like they say, failure and disappointments are there to make you stronger (although that shouldn't be an excuse to fail and be complacent cos that's just been plain stupid). If you told me that saying a year ago, I might have slapped you but now, I'm wiser and have been given a dose of disappointment and believe you me, the saying isn't shady atal..... 4: You become wiser, truly learn from your mistakes, become more careful and most especially more grateful after being slapped by disappointments. You never know but your disappointment might just open door to so much happiness and joy in the long run.

" Be calm and strong and patient. Meet failure and disappointment with courage. Rise superior to the trials of life, and never give in to hopelessness or despair. In anger, in adversity, cling to your principles and ideas"~ Sir William Osier. So I said to myself after thinking long and hard that I'm going to discard my many "what ifs". Reason being: "what ifs" just make you remember the steps you didn't take, what you don't have... So really what joy is there in remembering the disappointments? That only dampens your mood and releases fresh pollution to hope. Makes you not think clearly, act wisely, consult God, and gives way to a vicious circle of " what ifs". So let's take a stand against "what ifs" and be called stupid for being so optimistic in this pessimistic world we exist in....... 5: the most important lesson I learnt is OPTIMISM really really pays. It keeps you younger, happier and somehow enhances your thinking faculty and gives you new reasons everyday, everywhere to want to succeed and not have more " what ifs". Also helps you to kick back when hit by disappointments. So I will imploy you to find the strength to start all over again after you have been soaked in a pool of disappointment and what ifs . Decide to be happy and rule your life not be ruled by "what ifs".....Merci! #operationdiscardwhatifs.